When it rains, it pours

I'm not quite sure how to start. We buried my Mom this week, and I know my life will never be the same as it was before I had to go through this. There really is no adequate way to say good-bye to someone who you have known and loved your entire life.

And before I could really start to process this fact, there came another blow to my equilibrium: my best friend from high school was killed in a car accident.

Jen was like a sister to me. We took the same classes, went to each other's houses on a weekly basis, listened religiously to the same bands, talked for hours on the phone, flew to visit each other when I moved to GA, wrote long, detailed notes to each other about everything and anything. She was such a vital part of my childhood. I even stayed close to her parents, who are like surrogate parents to me.

We drifted apart some over the last few years, as people are prone to do when their lives take different paths. She studied science and fell in love. I studied theatre and clung to my independence. But we were still connected. I was at her wedding and saw how blessedly happy she was with Travis. She emailed me photos from her ultrasounds. We were going to meet for coffee soon.

I don't know if it's because the news of her death came when I was still trying to grasp the loss of my Mom, but I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it all. How can I lose two people who were so involved in making me into the person I am today? How do you reconcile yourself to that? My heart goes out to her family, but in many ways I feel like I am a part of the family and their loss is mine to share. Somehow we all just keep taking life one tenuous step at a time. The hurt will never really go away, but I think we'll learn to live with it eventually.