Crafter's Block

I've been in my new apartment for two months, and I am almost completely unpacked. Almost.

I have hardly touched my craft room. My craft library is unpacked and organized on the bookcases and I set up the craft table, but it is covered with various boxes, supplies and things that haven't found a home yet. The twelve 56-gallon plastic tote boxes are stacked against my bedroom wall along with piles of quilt batting. There is a tower of cardboard boxes with more craft supplies leaning precariously in one corner. Other random items are piled around or stuffed in corners.

I try to justify this by saying that I've been REALLY busy since I moved in and just haven't had time. I've convinced myself "Even if the craft room was unpacked, I don't have time to craft anyway so why make it a priority?"

Dad spent Sunday night and, as we sat at the dining room table eating dinner, I saw my sad little craft area over his shoulder. And that's exactly how I felt looking at it: sad. Crafting, or creating, is so deeply a part of who I am that it made me sad to realize that I've neglected it. I want to be able to spend a few hours a week working on a project, even if it's only a half hour a night. I want to walk past a somewhat-orderly project and feel the joy and anticipation of working on it again instead of feeling anxious and unfulfilled looking at the fabric refugees lurking in piles.

Time certainly has been an issue, but I don't think it is the biggest roadblock. I think I'm afraid of starting a new project because it will be the first time I won't have Mom as a resource. I won't be able to call her up and ask questions or send her pictures of the finished project. It's ironic, really: continuing to create is a way that I can honor her memory, but it's the memories of all the projects we've shared that is blocking me from creating. I miss her more everyday but am still hesitant to return to the activities that will make me feel closer to her.

So I decided to make my craft room a priority. Even though I was tired to the bone yesterday, I organized the plastic totes and started finding a home for all the flotsam on the craft table. If I can just get my supplies unpacked and the room set up, I won't have that hurdle preventing me from getting to work. I have several projects in mind and am going to make a list of things I want to make this year. For starters, Dad just became a great-grandpa again, so there is a baby blanket needing to be made.