First, Mommy is starving me. It's true. She took me to this horrible doctor that told Mommy dirty, rotten lies. The doctor said that Mommy is feeding me too much! I object! I protest! What kind of faulty data is this doctor-lady using to make this outrageous statement? I am a finely tuned, top of the line hunting machine. I am totally in shape... round is a shape. It makes me more aero-dynamic for hunting milk caps and stuffed mouses. Mommy tried to make this as painless as possible by cutting back just one ounce at a time. Ha. I'm clearly wasting away and my Mommy will be so sad when I expire from hunger. Nice going, doctor-lady.
Speaking of torture, apparently Mommy has been very bad. She has been making herself work out really hard and run really far. She says it's for a charity or something, but it sure seems like a punishment to me. Maybe she's punishing herself for starving me... Poor Mommy. If you want to see more about why she says she's "training" take a look here. As for me, I'm conserving energy. Winter is coming and I know Mommy does not like to turn the heat up until the frost on my whiskers turns to icicles, so I need to take it easy and try not to burn off my insulation!
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