A New Kind of Normal

And so it begins: the process of adjusting to a new kind of normal. I have lost so much this month that I don't really know which way to turn.

Losing my Mom was/is such a huge thing to deal with that even if it were the only adjustment it would still be difficult. I nearly lost it the first time I walked into a craft store and realized that I would never again be calling her for advice or to ask a question. I always viewed my Mom as a wealth of knowledge and a valuable sounding board, and somehow I'll have to learn to live without that assest. I have not even begin to comprehend the loss of my friendship with her... I was able to find a few gifts that she had ordered or completed for me and Joy for Christmas, so we were able to open those today. It really bothered me that I couldn't find what she was planning for Dad. I know she had things in mind for him, but she had been feeling so poorly that she never had a chance to start his gifts. It's hard for me to believe that she is really gone. Gone.

Losing Jen was a blow of another kind. She was my childhood friend, my partner in crime. In many ways she was like a sister to me, except we were together by choice, not genetics. I have more fond memories of her parent's house than I do of just about any place I've actually lived. Her memorial was difficult, humbling, and uplifting. It was so hard to just show up because it felt like it was making her loss real. I was humbled by how included I was in the stories of Jen's life. I felt like it validated my claim to feeling like part of the family (a hard thing to accept after just suffering such a loss to my own family). But, I think most importantly, it was uplifting to see just how many lives Jen touched. I always knew she was an amazing person. But to see so many people from so many different aspects of her life reaffirmed that belief.

In the middle of all these personal struggles is the loss of my job. My contract expired and was not renewed, so I am now unemployed. It's not as traumatic as some of the other things I'm dealing with, but it is still discomforting. Not that I am the kind of person that defines myself by my job, but it did give me a sense of purpose and direction. I have no idea what the new year will hold for me in the way of work, but I can't seem to care too much about that at the moment.

Perhaps most disappointing of all is the end of my relationship with my boyfriend. I say "most disappointing" because it carries with it the loss of so many intangible possibilities: a new type of life, marriage, a family. I feel like I made every effort to make "us" work, being as patient and understanding as possible. And, in all fairness, Ian gave it a pretty fair shot, too (or, in his words, he "gave all he could"). But I finally had to realize that if he could not be 100% supportive of me during the most difficult month of my life then I could not continue to fight for us.

I don't really know how my life will shape up in the new year. There are many sorrows to be reconciled, but hopefully there will be more opportunities to be pursued. Only time will tell.

When it rains, it pours

I'm not quite sure how to start. We buried my Mom this week, and I know my life will never be the same as it was before I had to go through this. There really is no adequate way to say good-bye to someone who you have known and loved your entire life.

And before I could really start to process this fact, there came another blow to my equilibrium: my best friend from high school was killed in a car accident.

Jen was like a sister to me. We took the same classes, went to each other's houses on a weekly basis, listened religiously to the same bands, talked for hours on the phone, flew to visit each other when I moved to GA, wrote long, detailed notes to each other about everything and anything. She was such a vital part of my childhood. I even stayed close to her parents, who are like surrogate parents to me.

We drifted apart some over the last few years, as people are prone to do when their lives take different paths. She studied science and fell in love. I studied theatre and clung to my independence. But we were still connected. I was at her wedding and saw how blessedly happy she was with Travis. She emailed me photos from her ultrasounds. We were going to meet for coffee soon.

I don't know if it's because the news of her death came when I was still trying to grasp the loss of my Mom, but I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it all. How can I lose two people who were so involved in making me into the person I am today? How do you reconcile yourself to that? My heart goes out to her family, but in many ways I feel like I am a part of the family and their loss is mine to share. Somehow we all just keep taking life one tenuous step at a time. The hurt will never really go away, but I think we'll learn to live with it eventually.

Spoiler Warning: this is a very sad post

I had barely completed my last post when I got a call from my dad: come home now.

Within 9 hours I was walking off a plane in Florida into the arms of my dad and sister. As we hugged in the airport they told me the sad news: my mom had passed away.

The small blessing is that this all happened so fast that she didn't really suffer. When she drove into the hospital on Wednesday, she thought she would be coming home once they fixed her breathing. She was sedated when her heart stopped, so for all intents and purposes, she died in her sleep.

I admit, it hasn't really sunk in yet. When we were driving today around making funeral arrangements, I kept forgetting that she wasn't at home waiting for us. When we were filling in the details for the obituary and I thought "my children will never know their grandmother" it was still an abstract kind of thought.

I don't know when it will fully hit me. This isn't really something you can study and prepare for. But I do know that I am grateful for the relationship that I had with her, and for all the wonderful and loving people who will help support me through this. My mom was a loving, creative, strong woman and I will miss her for the rest of my life.

Rebecca Jane Cantwell
March 25, 1953 - December 3, 2008
Wake: Sunday, December 7, 2008 from 6PM to 8PM
Funeral Service: Monday, December 8, 2008 at 10:30am

Thanksgiving update: delayed.

So, I had hoped that the next entry I wrote would be all about wonderful Thanksgiving vacation. While visiting Alana and Xander in Montreal was great, it is not the thing foremost in my mind and I'd be hard pressed to gush about it at the moment. I will post pictures and gush at a later date...

Right now, I'm very, very anxious. My mom went into the hospital last week. The doctors originally thought she might have a blocked artery and she was going to have a heart catheter. However, when she had a seizure on the way to her appointment it prompted a CAT scan that revealed lots of blood clots in her lungs. She spent almost a week in the hospital and was slowly recovering when she was discharged on Monday. Her positive progress took a bit of a turn when her blood oxygen levels dropped on Tuesday (apparently she was sent home without any oxygen, which she still needs until the remnants of the clots are completely out of her lungs).

It has been a stressful and tense week for the whole family. My dad and sister are doing their best to take care of mom, but there are going to have to be a LOT of changes and I don't think they will happen easily. I've been on edge because I'm so far away that getting home quickly isn't really an option. Also, being a bit of a control freak, it's hard for me to deal with getting all my information second hand. I want to be in the office asking the doctors questions in person. I don't know if it would make any difference in the outcome, but it would make me feel more useful. Instead, I nag over the phone.

On top of all that, I will probably be unemployed by the end of the month. For most of 2008 the department has been in flux and no one seems to know where I'm going to fit in the new structure. Now I have about 21 days left until my contract expires and I still have no idea what is going to happen. This has been incredibly frustrating for me because I really do enjoy what I do, I am kinda limited in other possible technical job opportunities because many of my technical skills are specific to this one system, and I seem to have noticed that the economy is not in the best of shape and there are not a whole lot of great jobs floating around out there.

While my general outlook about being unemployed has been fairly negative up till now, I'm trying to see one silver lining: I can go home for a few weeks to help my mom. But even that is a tarnished lining because it will make searching/interviewing for new jobs difficult, I'll be away from Ian and my friends in CT and will miss my Pumpkin. Ian says I've been focusing too much on the negative things in my life, but it feels like there are very few positive things to distract me right now. It's hard to stop and smell the roses when the garden is heaped with manure...

Enough whining, stay tuned for Thanksgiving photos!

Two Reasons I Love Westerly

The election process is finally over and we have a new president elect, Obama. I am glad both in the outcome and that the process itself is over...at least for 4 years. I have to admit that, unlike many friends and colleagues, I did not follow the election day hub-bub at all. I was in NYC for work most of the day, listened to an audio book on the drive home ("A World Without Us") then read another book when I got home (after debating with my dad for a while...). I slept soundly, wrapped warmly in the hope that hope would prevail. In the end, it did. I wish Obama the best of luck taking on the job of President of the United States (with emphasis on the "United").

Though I've been quite busy lately, I did have a moment to snap two quick pictures depicting why I love Westerly:

Wilcox Park, at any time of the day, is beautiful and relaxing. I played around with a few camera settings to snap this picture of the fountain at night. I must say, I am very pleased with the outcome!

What other city boasts a human-sized Mr. Potato Head dressed as a Vote-promoting super hero? I'm going to say, just Westerly! (if you happen to find another, please don't tell me.) Like I need another reason to love living here...

Pumpkin's Halloween Memory

Wow, it was three years ago this week that Mommy brought me home. Time sure does fly. Halloween is a scary time for me because it brings back memories of the day Mommy found me. Makes me shudder. Imagine being a tiny (yes, I was tiny once) 5 week old kitten crouched against the concrete barrier on the Interstate 95 at rush hour. Cars and trucks were speeding past less than five feet away. It was cold and windy up on the bridge and there was garbage blowing around, too. I don't even want to think about what would have happened if Mommy hadn't seen me, a little puff of orange fur. Even though she doesn't like heights, she walked up that big bridge and scooped me up in her hat. I may getting hissy and act up sometimes, but I'm so glad to have my Mommy. And she seems pretty happy to have me, too. I guess that was a Halloween treat for both of us.

Scary Stories for Halloween

Trick or Treat!

I had two interactions recently, and I thought they would make interesting "Scary Stories" for a Halloween post. I have a few actual real-life ghost encounter stories as well (maybe I'll post another time), but these seem much more relevant.

The first occurred last Friday as I was driving to work. I recently put an "Obama/Biden" sticker in the rear window of my car (I just can't commit to actually sticking something on my car... even my NPR sticker is a removable window decal) and seeing that happy little O as I walk towards my car makes me smile. It unfortunately had a very different effect on another commuter. As I was traveling down the highway, going a steady 65 miles per hour as directed by the speed limit signs, a silver car was coming up fast on my left. I saw him approaching in the rear view and didn't think anything about it, as I was not in the left lane and there was no one blocking his ability to blow past me. However, when he came up even with my bumper, he beeped. I'm not a big fan of gratuitous horn blowing, so I thought maybe something was wrong. I looked over my shoulder only to see him passing me: he was nearly turned around in his seat, eyes completely off of the road ahead and glaring at me, one hand on the wheel while the other hand was emphatically giving me a thumbs down sign...and he was sticking out his tongue. As I was not driving erratically, was not blocking the passing lane with my obsessive obey-the-speed-limit mentality, and there was no other aspect of my average-run-of-the-mill-Honda that could have elicited such a response, I must assume that this poor fellow was offended by my Obama sticker.

The second interaction occurred when I sent out a brief email to many friends, family and co-workers to inform them of Alana's Etsy store going live. It seemed a harmless email. I was not begging or badgering them to buy anything. I wasn't guilting them into supporting this cause. I just wanted to share the news and offer up an alternative to Christmas shopping at Walmart. A friend of mine quickly replied, not with any thanks or encouragement about the site or the cause but instead with criticism: they should be adopting US babies. When I replied that I was certain all options had been considered and this was the path they chose, I was then further informed that, if US babies are so hard to get they should adopt older kids in foster care.

Both of these situations struck me as offensive examples of one person holding so firmly to the belief that they are correct and everyone else needs correcting. They fail to see that diversity, and the ability to make our own best decisions, is fundamental to being human.

I know that there are people who truly believe that McCain/Palin is the right choice for this country (even though it's painful for me to even type that...). There are also people who feel strongly about the concepts of family: what makes a family, who it comprises, and how it's made. There are people who would say that I couldn't possibly love my step dad as a "real" father, even though he is the one who really raised me. There are people who vote party instead of issue, or vote on one single issue instead of looking at the political landscape as a whole (for instance, voting for someone who claims to be pro-life (read: anti-abortion) but sees no problem with capital punishment, turning a blind eye to genocide, or perpetuating/starting wars).

I can believe in my heart of hearts that those things are wrong and, if asked, I will explain why. But what I won't do is force my beliefs, opinions or ideology on others. I will not cast judgement on people or their beliefs because, frankly, who the hell am I to say what is or is not best for someone else? The best that I can do is to explore and evaluate my own belief system, strive to live up to it as best I can, and hope that by doing so I can reflect to others the strength of my beliefs. It makes a much better argument than sticking out my tongue and giving you a thumbs down.

Have a happy, safe Halloween!

Etsy and the Handmade Pledge

There are at least two new Etsy shops open, just in time for holiday shopping!

My dear friend Alana has opened "Molasses - Sweet Handmade Stuff." It's a wonderful cooperative of artists (myself included!) offering their combined creative forces in one great shop. Check it out here: http://molasses.etsy.com/.

I was so inspired by Alana (thanks also go to Ian, who has constantly kept this thought in the front of my mind!), that I decided to finally have a go at selling some of the products of my creative endeavors in my own Etsy shop: http://skyetyler.etsy.com/. Okay, the name is not nearly as cute as Alana's. But when I created the site I was having daydreams about someday actually having my own line of products and thought "Skye Tyler Designs" was an apt enough name.

I only have one item posted at the moment, as the bulk of my projects are currently designated as gifts. That being said, however, I did just spend a chunk of change at the Fabric Place to buy supplies to stock my virtual shelves! Stay tuned for new items arriving soon!

If you want to try something new and exciting for the holidays, why not take the Handmade Pledge? It makes for better gift giving and is better for people and the environment!

If you aren't familiar with Etsy, it's definitely worth the look. It's a great way for small-scale artists to sell their wares at reasonable prices. Being one of those artists, I especially love the fact that it's geared to handmade things! Why buy some mass produced piece of mediocrity, when you can buy a one-of-a-kind piece of art and know that the money actually goes straight to the artist?

What is Autumn?

Summer has faded into memory and the season has shifted firmly to Autumn.

What does Autumn mean to me?

It means picking apples...

and pumpkins! And other harvesting activities...

like making applesauce...

and salsa!

Autumn is the time of year when our usually stoic and passive landscape puts on such a vibrant flash of color one might think the trees are dressing in drag.

It means that the Praying Mantis is going to be leaving my marigolds soon, hopefully to come back again next summer to keep the pests away.

Autumn means that the days are shorter, the nights are colder and using the oven is now a welcome idea! Autumn is when I turn all my crafting energy in earnest to holiday gift making. There have been years past when I held a grudge against Autumn, in all it's vibrant glory. I viewed it as the last lingering note of summer's symphony before the crushing silence of winter's gloom. I don't deal well with the lack of sun and simple outdoor activities. But I know the value of winter. I know that all things must have a time of rest: trees, gardens, me. I'm going to make an attempt this year to view winter not as an end, but as a pause between movements: a chance to recuperate, recover, and allow myself to recharge.

My First 5K Race and a birthday party

This weekend was PERFECT for my first ever 5K road race! I signed up, and raised $90, for the Mystic Aquarium's Run (or walk) for the Penguins on Saturday, October 18.

The morning dawned cool and clear, and I woke at 6:30am to eat a few eggs for breakfast (with plenty of time to digest before the event!). I got to the Aquarium around 8:15 to get registered and warmed up. About 200 people had pre-registered, and another 300 or so showed up on Saturday! They ended up delaying the start by 10 minutes to allow all the new folks to get registered.

There were two very bored looking penguins at the starting line to get us going.

The race itself was a lot of fun. We ran part of the course on back roads in small neighborhoods, so there was hardly any traffic. The course also ran through a field scattered with not-quite-ripe pumpkins and along a trail in the Denison Pequotsepos Nature Preserve. I was somewhat unprepared for the two seemingly large hills, but am still proud of my finishing time (race results will be posted here...eventually). I jogged more than I walked, but didn't push myself to the point of pain.

The best part, though, is now that I have completed a race I know that it is something I can do. Just a few months ago I would not have imagined myself as the kind of person to run races (I used to claim "I only run when I'm being chased"). Now, I'm looking forward to the 27th Annual Knights of Columbus 5K in Westerly on November 9. I plan on taking part in at least four 5k races over the course of 2009 and hope to be able to jog the entire way by this time next year. The fact that I'm doing this for myself and my health makes it even sweeter. I may never come in first, but it's the journey, and the process, that matters to me!

After the race I baked a batch of yummy Whole Wheat Oatmeal Peanut Butter cookies and walked over to Westerly for Sammy's 3rd Birthday Party!

After a little encouragement, Sammy was willing to share his bat with the other kids.

"I had cake for you, but I eated it..."

The Girls!

Sewing and growing

As promised, here are a few photos of my summer harvests! The purses and prints will be up for sale on an Etsy site soon (watch for coming details). The garden has produced many peppers for salsa (which promises to be very hot this year!) as well as lots of tabouli and pesto!

The cherry blossom print was so cute I bought it before I knew what it would become!

These prints were made in 2007 when I took a printmaking class with Mara Beckwith.

I absolutely LOVED how the celtic cats turned out!

Nasturtiums are one of my favorite annuals (and they are yummy, too)!

Sweet and hot peppers, basil, parsley, tomatoes and cilantro (yuck) have been calling my porch home all summer.

Lake Compounce and RI Beaches

On Sunday, September 14 I took Karen, Rea and Ian to Lake Compounce for the day. The weather was a bit overcast, but it was the perfect day to go: there was hardly anyone there! Seriously, I think the longest we waited in line was for one of the kiddie rides that Rea wanted to go on, and we only waited because the ride had just started when we got in line.


Karen was happy to have Ian along because he would go on the roller coasters and other scary rides with her (Rea and I just watched). The water park was also a load of fun and, again, no lines!

Karen and Ian on Downtime, commonly known as a free fall. Watch your ankles...

Rea and Ian had a blast, or should I say a "splash," playing in the water park!

We stumbled upon what appeared to be the graveyard for test dummies...

The following weekend, Ian and I were supposed to go kayaking on Sunday. However, I was exhausted and sore from kickboxing and helping Karen empty out her storage room. Instead we drove up Route 1 into Rhode Island and did a little sightseeing. It was a beautiful day to be out and about and strolling around. We stopped for lunch in Wakefield at Surfin' Tacos and browsed in Myopic Books (it was very hard for me not to buy "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" but I will soon enough). We also spent some time beach combing and grabbed a bunch of clam shells for an upcoming gift project...

AAArrrggghhhh!!!!!

Avast, ye scurvy sea dogs! Dust off yer "Ahoy"s and polish up yer "Argh"s. For today be International Talk Like A Pirate Day! Ah, to hear the yar's and growls of me shipmates be a joyful sound in me ear. To be greeted by a hearty "Argh!" is like to put wind in me sails and billow me on through the rough and rollin' seas. Tis true.

Dread Pirate Julie and Skye the Merciless prepare to sack Constantine's.

It be a little know fact that pirates were the first to coin the term "Booty Call," as shown here.

Tis a sad thing, to part from friends. But me ship awaits and there are towns to pillage and ships to plunder. Until we chance to meet again, keep a weather eye on the horizon and remember: Take what ye want, give nothing back!"

Pumpkin has his say

Pumpkin here. Mommy has been really busy lately, so I'm posting a bit to let all you human peoples know what's going on.

First, Mommy is starving me. It's true. She took me to this horrible doctor that told Mommy dirty, rotten lies. The doctor said that Mommy is feeding me too much! I object! I protest! What kind of faulty data is this doctor-lady using to make this outrageous statement? I am a finely tuned, top of the line hunting machine. I am totally in shape... round is a shape. It makes me more aero-dynamic for hunting milk caps and stuffed mouses. Mommy tried to make this as painless as possible by cutting back just one ounce at a time. Ha. I'm clearly wasting away and my Mommy will be so sad when I expire from hunger. Nice going, doctor-lady.


Speaking of torture, apparently Mommy has been very bad. She has been making herself work out really hard and run really far. She says it's for a charity or something, but it sure seems like a punishment to me. Maybe she's punishing herself for starving me... Poor Mommy. If you want to see more about why she says she's "training" take a look here. As for me, I'm conserving energy. Winter is coming and I know Mommy does not like to turn the heat up until the frost on my whiskers turns to icicles, so I need to take it easy and try not to burn off my insulation!

Crafting!

I think I may have finally figured out that the best way to post pictures and text is to just upload the pictures first and then write around them... Let's give it a try and see how it works! Still trying to decide if I like the text before or after the pictures, so bear with me while I experiment.

Here are some pics from the felted wool clogs I've been making. I picked up the pattern last December and took a class this spring (more for the social interaction than the lessons). In order to felt, you have to make the knitted piece larger than what you want the finished clog to be. Hence the comparison below to my shoe!
Here is a pic of the finished clog slipper! This one ended up being a little bit big for my foot, but the blue cuffed one was way to small for me to model. They are super warm and comfy and I can't wait to wear them when the weather turns cool (which it is starting to do already!). And yes, I took this photo in the middle of summer and my legs really are that pale.

Ian was a bit reluctant to go blueberry picking with me, but he got over his bad attitude and ended up loving the time in the orchard. Similarly, he was hesitant to help me make blueberry jam. But being a good sport he ventured into the fray and now proudly proclaims that he helped make the jam! It's never to early to start Christmas crafting!

After returning from Montreal I still had a few days off before going back to work. Julie and I took advantage of a BEAUTIFUL Sunday to return to Cliff Walk in Newport, RI. It really was a lovely day to be out walking by the water. It wasn't as hot as our last trip there, which made the walk that much more enjoyable. Whether it's hiking, strolling through the park, or watching PBS Jane Austen movies, Julie and I always have a great time together! One of the mansions had these great camel shaped plantings on their lawn. I wonder how much water they need...

My co-worker, Kim, is going to be a grandmother soon and she hired me to make a baby quilt. I decided to do a bow-tie and snowball pattern, thinking I was being very original. However, when I put a copy of this picture into my quilt journal, I realized I had done exactly the same pattern about 3 years ago! It's hard to tell from the picture above, but the printed fabric is actually little buttons. I toyed with calling the quilt "Cute as a Button" or "Buttons and Bows."

Stay tuned for some pictures of my porch garden coming soon!

At last, the long awaited Vacation Summary!

This must be some kind of record for me! I have downloaded my camera within a month of taking some of the photos. Seriously, not having my own computer makes it kinda tricky to keep up on the blogging as well as the digi-pics. But I manage by mooching time on other people's computers (namely Ian and the library!).

As previously mentioned, Ian and I took a relaxing little road trip up north: Potsdam/Canton, NY and Montreal. Someone (I won't say who) forgot to bring her camera when we climbed Mt. Arab in the Adirondacks and explored a waterfall with Kimberly and Matthew. The views were stunning and the hiking was physically invigorating and mentally relaxing. Mr. Arab is supposed named such because the rock profile is shaped in a twisted spiral, similar to a turban. I guess Mt. Dairy Queen didn't have the same magestic ring to it...

Montreal was a real treat! Literally, there was this GREAT ice cream shop just down the street from Alana and Xander! It was housed in a building shaped like a castle but painted pastel blue, pink and yellow and they had the best soft serve ice cream I've had since I was a kid! No lie. I actually had TWO cones our last night there.

Alana was a champion tourguide. Even though she was feeling a bit under the weather, she did a wonderful job of showing us around.

Alana and Ian in the Old Town.

Creepy gnomes in a window display...

A picnic on Mont Royal: Lovely!

Ian was happy to visit several game shops while Alana and I found one really great yarn shop (and one very stuffy, uppity one). I have some other pics from the trip, but I've been fighting with the blogging software and it seems to be winning. So perhaps I will post more later. I do have some pics of a few recent craft projects as well that will be forthcoming.

A 5K training update: I shaved another 45 seconds off my three-mile time! I'm now down to 39 minutes exactly! I have no delusions of jogging the entire 5K next month, but I am excited to be making progress. It feels great to be challenging myself physically and working towards a goal. And who knows, maybe by this time next year I will be ready to jog the whole way!

The Curse of Vacation!

Ahhh, vacation. Time to relax, unwind, visit friends, explore...panic when I come back to hundreds of emails and work undone!

I usually try to schedule my vacations around major holidays. I find that most of my clients and co-workers are already on mental vacation and my work load tends to be less. Additionally, if everyone else is on vacation (such as for Thanksgiving and Christmas) there is no one at work to be sending me a load of emails while I'm out. Alas, I took the last week of August off and was dismayed to come back to a hectic rush of things that needed to get done ASAP.

*tangent* the term ASAP (as soon as possible) always makes me laugh. People say it with the assumption that it is synonymous with "immediately" when in actuality it may not be "possible" for me to get around to it for a few days.

Needless to say, I'm still digging out and trying to get caught up. I remember my mom saying once "I'm keeping my head just below the surface." It's a sad image, but feels like a very accurate description of my work life lately. Once I have a few moments to download my vacation pictures I'll update a post about the wonderful trip to NY and Montreal!!

Cute summer photos

Last summer my sister and I took our friend's daughter, Reagan, to Harkness State Park for the day. We had a great time turning cartwheels, flying kites, building sandcastles and splashing in the waves. Reagan loves the Disney princesses, and has red hair like Ariel, so I built her this mermaid tail in the sand (the scale is a little off, but hey, it's sand!). She thought it was the coolest thing, all covered in shells and stones. Of course, being 5 years old, sitting still, half-buried in sand, lost it's appeal pretty quickly. Luckily I found this picture again and have it savor the memory of that fun summer day!

Pumpkin relishes having the windows open in the summer. He loves to sit and watch all the interesting things going past and is really good about not clawing the screens. He's not so thrilled about all the noise that comes in through the windows though. Things like sirens and fireworks especially bother him and he takes up residence under the couch until they are a distant memory. He would be typing this entry himself, but he somehow managed to break off two claws (again!). They seem to be healing well, and he tolerates the warm saltwater soaks and flushing with peroxide. I'm sure he'll rant about it soon when he's feeling up to typing.

I've got my work cut out for me!

When I got to Woodstock this weekend Ian had a surprise for me: the Summer Challenge students and faculty were going to run a 5K on Saturday! I was both excited and disappointed: excited because I could get a point of reference regarding where I am currently and how much training I should plan; disappointed because my left knee had been bothering me and I wasn't sure I should push it. (I've been doing physical therapy off and on (okay, more off than on) for about a year and go through phases were the knees are still pretty painful.)

Saturday morning dawned bright and beautiful, a welcome break from the rain and storms we've been having all week. My knee was stiff when I woke, but I hoped it would loosen up as I started moving. When race time came I decided to give it a go, but planned on walking the whole way (running + sore knee = bad idea). So I power-walked the whole way and finished at 42 minutes and 38 seconds. Figuring I usually manage a 15 minute-mile, I was pretty happy with myself. There were a few students who finished just ahead of me and they were motivated to pick up the pace when they realized that I walked the whole way but was still right behind them (and actually passed them at a few points).

Slow and steady may not have won the race, but it helped me finish without hurting myself...too badly. I iced my knee Saturday night but could hardly put any weight on it the next morning. I was so incredibly sore on Sunday it was ridiculous! It's now Monday morning and I can pretty much walk and move around without much discomfort. I'm glad I did the race because now I realize better what it is going to take to get ready for the Penguin Race in October. This has also motivated me to stick to my physical therapy exercises as directed and not slack off anymore!

Setting and meeting goals

Thanks to constant prodding from Ian, I finally did a very interesting thing this year: I started an actual, pen-to-paper To Do List. Some of you may find that surprising, knowing as you do that I am constantly busy with fun and exciting crafts, projects, trips and activities. For years I kept all these things pinging around in my brain and usually only wrote a few things down at any given point in time. Why, you may ask, would someone as organized as myself, be hesitant to make a To Do List?

The truth is, I was scared. There are SO MANY things I want to do that I thought I would be overwhelmed if I were to actually sit and write them down. How was I possibly going to function when I looked at this seemingly never-ending list? Wouldn't I just shut down under the unbearable pressure of not being able to ever finish my list? Better to just let things fall in and out of my attention then to be faced with concrete evidence of my desires.


That, of course, is stressful. I was constantly feeling like I was forgetting things (which, of course, I was!). And it was hard for me to say "no" to unimportant things if I didn't have a tangible excuse. Or, more importantly, it was hard for me to make time for the things I really wanted to do, like pottery and knitting classes. It was also very hard for me to quantify my actual progress if I just kept pulling new activities out of my brain.


So I started a list. Of course, being me, it was a very organized list with categories, deadline, status and priorities. At first I was a bit overwhelmed, as I expected. I had decided to just do one year at a time instead of listing all the things I ever wanted to do. Even a year-long list was a bit daunting. But an amazing thing happened: I felt a wonderful sense of accomplishment when I crossed things off! I was able to track progress by seeing all the things I've managed to do already and felt empowered to do the things still pending. And it really helped me focus on the things that I feel are important, which is incredibly rewarding!

That being said, there was one thing that I really wanted to put on my list, but didn't. I had thought about it, and really wanted to do it, and knew it was something I should put on the list, but I was afraid that I wouldn't really get around to doing it and if I put it on the list and didn't do it I would view it as a failure. I wanted to take part in a 5K race. I don't have any problem pushing myself in work or the arts, but for some reason I hesitate to push myself physically.

When this idea popped back into my head a few weeks ago, I finally decided to just make the commitment and sign up for a race. After a bit of online searching I found that the Mystic Aquarium has a 5K Run/Walk for the Penguins in October. I am always happy to support the Aquarium and figured that October would give me plenty of time to prepare. So I signed up! I never really saw myself as the kind of person who does races. But there was also a time when I was not the kind of person who traveled overseas or climbed to Machu Picchu, so there's no reason to limit my definition of myself!

If you have any 5K training advice or experience, I'm happy to hear it! You can also check out my Race website at www.firstgiving.com/skyetyler. I'm going to keep you posted on my training progress, so there is a real sense of accountability!

The Maine Event

On June 27, Ian and I drove up to a cute campsite for a weekend in Maine. The campground was in Eliot, Maine on the Piscataqua River. It was simple, quiet, and relaxing. Though we got there too late on Friday night to sit by the fire, we did make breakfast over a roaring fire on Saturday morning. I've never been one to think that just because you're eating outside you have to sacrifice flavor. For lunch on Saturday we had Freakin' Vegan burgers, roasted corn on the cob, roasted zucchini and garlic couscous. Yum!

Though camping was a joy in itself, the real purpose of the trip was to attend Ian's cousin's wedding. Jay and Sarah got married at a beautiful home in Kittery. The day was a bit chilly and overcast, but the ceremony and reception were wonderful! It was great to see many of the cousins again, and to meet a few more for the first time.

I was cutting it really close (even by my standards) but I managed to finish the wedding gift the night before we left for Maine! I made Jay and Sarah a rail fence patterned quilt using a collection of shades of red that I bought 7 years ago when I worked at JoAnn Fabrics. There are about 20 hearts of various fabrics sewn into the border and the whole thing is hand quilted in the shape of hearts, which show up really nicely on the back of the quilt. It was a lot of fun to design and make and I hope they enjoy it!

After all these years...

An interesting development sprang up at work last month. I was offered the opportunity to dedicate half of my time to working as the Level 1 help desk support for the system I administer. This is very exciting not only because it means that my talents and value are being acknowledged. It also gives me a chance to learn more about how the system works behind the scenes, keeps me challenged and stimulated, expands my job skills, and allows me to be more involved with enhancements, developments and testing. But perhaps most exciting is the fact that I will be working in New York a few days a month!

Knowing how much I cherish nature and the outdoors, you may ask, "Why exactly is that exciting?" Well, seven years ago I was all set to move to NYC. I got accepted to a graduate program at NYU's Tisch School of Arts, I had a job lined up at a production company and a friend was checking out apartments in Jersey City. And I turned it all down. Somehow I just felt like it wasn't the right thing to do. Now, here I am, living in a wonderful town in a great apartment in the quiet corner of Connecticut. And I get paid to go into NYC twice a month. Isn't life funny?

Granted, on the two trips I've made so far I haven't done any "New York" type things. Maybe once it cools down a bit I'll do some exploring and maybe try to catch a few shows. I relish the fact that I have 5 hours of train time each week I travel to knit or read. And I get to enjoy the bustle and rush of the city for two days, then go home to the peace and quiet I love. Maybe this bi-monthly commute will get old after a while. But for now I'm loving it!!!

Happy Solstice!

So I'm a day late with the Solstice wishes, but that's because I was extremely busy yesterday. It was the longest day of the year and I made the most of it! I met up with my co-worker Carolyn and her roommate Lisa for the Mystic Aquarium's Animal Rescue Kayak event. It was a beautiful day: clear blue skies, warm but not muggy, slightly breezey to keep you from roasting out on the water. It was one of those days where I would have been perfectly happy to paddle around all day and flop into bed tired but satisfied. However, that was not to be. Why, you may ask? Because last night was also the Westerly Pops Concert in Wilcox Park! Aaron, Dan, Julie and I enjoyed yummy munchies, great music and cool fireworks all in one night. While I'm used to Wilcox Park being a quite haven in my busy world, last night it was transformed into a bustling, filled-to-the-brim, concert experience.

The music was great and included a neat version of Indiana Jones' theme. The finale, as always, is a wonderful fireworks display that inevitable ends with Pumpkin hiding under the couch for at least an hour!

One of the things I love about Wilcox Park is that they have so many fun things that go on there. Ian and I strolled around through the Virtu Art Festival, which happens every Memorial Day Weekend. There was a great turnout of artists and I felt the familar longing to spend more time creating. Of course, it's always a double edged sword: I see great ideas of things I would like to try, but can't ever find the time to do it all. While we were waiting for a college art student to finish our Manga portrait (Manga is the still life version of Anime) we had a Thai Pepper picnic by the fish pond.

My Field Day Birthday Party was a lot of fun as well. There are plenty of trees to provide shade on a hot summer day and we all took advantage. The park has a wonderfully flat center which makes it ideal for things like Frisbee and kickball. Lots of friends stopped by, chatted and shared food, played with the kids and just had a relaxing time. The squirrels, which can be very demanding and sometimes intimidating, were respectful of our boundaries and only came when called and tempted with trail mix. It was really my favorite kind of birthday party, mainly because the focuswas on having a good time...and not directly on me!

And I would be remiss if I did not mention the other big summer event that has occurred: Mick graduated high school! Congratulations! She's still working out the details of her Visa, but should be on her way to England soon.

What did you do on your birthday?

I think it's very interesting to hear people's plans for their birthday. On my actual birthday I went to see a production of "You Can't Take It With You." Jill directed and several folks I knew were in it. During the final curtain call, Chris proposed to Laura and got a standing ovation when she said "Yes." Afterward Ian and I went out to dinner with the cast and had a great time. For my birthday party I had a bunch of friends get together in beautiful Wilcox Park for games, food and laughs. It was wonderful.

Ian, on the other hand, took a slightly more exciting approach to celebrating his birthday. He went skydiving. I have to say I was more than slightly envious...and a bit nervous waiting for him to call when he was back on terra firma! Click here to view his jump video. Jeez, he's always trying to one-up me...